1) T-shirt and bag – Uniqlo, Shoes – New Look; 2) T-shirt – Antoni Alison UT @ Uniqlo, Jeans – Radcliffe Jeans

Classic case of survival of the fittest in love-hate relationship with self. For now I think the score is meek nerd 2: snooty 34,005. The two points scored only recently by the almond-rose donuts and a successful parallel parking session. Of course, only to be shot down immediately by snooty when I realised the space was for the disabled – bam, fifty points.

So this is Uniqlooks for April. Don’t I just keep ending up in strange alleys lately… T-shirts this time. The only styling technique I know that involves T-shirts is doing the Japanese t-shirt fold over and over again until I’m left with something that might be from All Saints. I like a good challenge but this time you win, Uniqlo.

By the way, will happily dance for your vote here! (London region)

Outfit 1: Sweater – mum’s Molton, Polo – Courtesy of Uniqlo, Pants – Gmarket, Shoes – New Look, Sunglasses – Urban Outfitters, Bag – Lithuania market; Outfit 2: Polo – Courtesy of Uniqlo, Pants – Zara, Gold T-bars – Topshop, Clutch – mum’s vintage

The fact that this polo shirt is the brightest of blue (and the fact that my forehead is basically a lightbulb) does not help the fact that this balcony faces a wall of cars waiting at the lights on the main road outside my house. For innate self-defence’s sake I guess the body pulled the I need to pee pose in order to make the outdoor cinema crowd to assume that I’m just standing on my balcony in front of a tripod because I truly do have to pee. In two different outfits.

This second polo of Uniqlooks was quite the challenge, which is worrying in itself because a few years ago I remember insisting on only wearing polo shirts. What does that say about my highschool fashion sense? I guess it doesn’t say much, other than douchebag.

Polo Top – Courtesy of Uniqlo, Polkadot Dress – Graduation dress by Zara, Belt – JHYoo, Bag – Mum’s, Vest – Geiger, Shoes – River Island, Sunglasses – Urban Outfitters

Thank you Agata and Oliwia for the photos!

Here’s another Uniqlooks look – yarh, it’s meant to be a monthly thing but with the frequency of my posting lately it looks like every other post is about the project… well good thing I love Uniqlo to death. Have I been paid to say this? – Do unicorns glow in the dark? We’ll never know. No, to keep this clear and on the records, I am indeed being compensated for this project. Le anyways. I know it’s hard to see, but the dress is actually halterneck and did an amazing job not covering my chest at my highschool graduation (thank you, dress), and the top is a simple polo shirt. Can you see, the dots are blue on the shirt and white on the dress. HA, this should’ve been a competition, I know how we all love giveaways! (puke). Had I remembered that I had this dress, and had I known I’d be stuck in Poland for weeks more than expected (not that it’s a bad thing), I probably would’ve asked for a different colour for ‘styling’ purposes… but I told you here anyway so only those who read my sacred blurbs will know of the secret of the dress, which is, hidden in plain sight.

Coat – Anywho x Kobra, Shirt & Navy Bag – Courtesy of Stylesofia, Cargo Boyfriend-fit Pants – Courtesy of Uniqlo, Furry Bag – ASOS, Necklace – Ek Thongprasert courtesy of Olive Shoppe, Shoes – Office, Scarf – Scottish Highlands store

I call that the CSI find piece of nail clipping amidst a huge field of branches that eventually solves homicide and identifies an illegitimate child that happens to be the son of the protagonist pose. Quick, bring me some magnifying glasses, there’s an ant. (TO LOOK AT, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, you horrible person) Something about the weather today made it feel like we’re going Benjamin Button on the seasons, these shots could easily be from late autumn. Here’s the second instalment of Uniqlooks with boyfriend-fit chino trousers, the ones where on Charlize Theron they reach just above her ankle but on me they require a gang of bridesmaids and pageboys to shuffle the train on each leg. Or just a mop.

On another note, look what my necklace can do!

Thank you to Yoo Kyung & Eun Hye (the 11 year-olds) for these shots!

Trench – Mum’s Burberry, Trousers – Zara sale, Shoes – Cutesyshoes, Bag – Courtesy of Chanel, Galaxy print body – Courtesy of Motel Rocks, Cardigan – Uniqlo

Warsaw Palace of Culture Sala Kongresowa; Thank you muzzer for the photos!

So what’s with the glasses, eh?* According to this dame here it should seem that I’m on a man-repelling agenda but no, if I had that kind of social fluency I wouldn’t be living with 18 diseased cats. No, I’m allergic to cats, and I have a boyfriend – that guy standing behind me, that’s him. I keep telling him to move out of the frame but apparently he’s not up for long-distance relationship just yet. One of the Chopin Music Academy students in our church was picked to perform with 9 top tenors in Poland, and of course I had to make an appearance. I feel sorry for the concert hall staff for having to install all the red seats in my honour.

Wow the blurb is getting lamer by the post. I blame diseased cat #4. OK SHUTTING UP.

*Forgot my contacts in London is all.