I've moved on...
...to a different domain. Why, what were you thinking? The truth is, I just woke up one day and decided it's time for a change—a metamorphosis, if you will; or, in layman's terms, if Britney can shave her head, then maybe so can I? Nevertheless, it's been a rather handsome 10 years of talking to you, and thank you for putting up with all my moodswings and terrible dad jokes. Fear not! The hormonal imbalance and jokes are more terrible on CUBICLE, see you there.

Prepare:
Victim top, 10mm knitting needles, kid mohair (50%+) yarn in any colour (Rowan has great yarn range called Kidsilk Haze perfect for soemthing like this albeit slightly pricey. Another option is to ebay for mohair) , thread matching yarn colour, needle, measuring tape.

Measure from the collarbone area to shoulder blade with a measuring tape. This is the size of the ‘wing’ that will sit on your shoulders.

The knitting:
Cast on 44sts. (If you’re an experienced knitter, you could always do a tension swatch and calculate how long you need it to be)

1st row: Knit (K) entire row
2nd row: Purl (P) entire row
3rd row: K2tog, K to end, k2tog last 2 sts.
4th row: P2tog, P to end, p2tog last 2 sts.
5-last row: repeat 3-4 until work finishes in a triangle.

Repeat again for 2 triangles

Stretch & straighten work near first few rows and adjust to make a perfect triangle.

Pin and secure knitting onto top of choice and using a needle & thread sew. (Sew into or close to neckline, where the fabric is slightly thicker)

Optional finishing touches: Attach additional decoration – studs, chains, sequins…anything!

Top – FCUK, Jeans – H&M, Necklace – Polish antique market

Sorry for disappearing like that for 6 days, I’ve relocated to London and so far the only recordworthy thoughts are: I would rather live in a cave or a treehouse than this craphole and That’s not a kitchen, it’s a cupboard. I’ve been househunting for the past few days, and who knew London seriously lacks quality studio/1-bedrooms? Although, I think I’ve found a great one in Chiswick, fingers crossed.

Back onto the DIY – I’m sorry this is for those with knitting experience – but I think this could be a good opportunity to learn, what with winter coming up and all, don’t you think? This project requires absolutely no extra knitting skills, just the basic knits & purls. Refer to this Youtube channel to learn the basics & other tips. (Also, Ravelry is a great knitting community where you can get all kinds of help and share your knitting projects.)

Hope that stirs your ideatank for more shoulder decoration DIY ;)

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Shirt Men’s Uniqlo, Jeans H&M, Bag Public Beware, Shoes Zara

Quiet day involving getting locked in the house, eating greasy McDonalds for breakfast and following le boyfriend blindly into a dark forest. Baby boyfriend, I took advantage of you ages ago, where are you taking me? Actually it was a nice park with the Wisła river running close alongside – too close that le boyfriend makes me stand near the water and tells me I don’t fit in the camera so would I please move back.

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Dress as top H&M, Pants Topshop, Shoes Office, Bag Public Beware, Necklace DIY

As some of you pointed out I did indeed get a perm, although it’s been 3 days and it’s starting to straighten out already. I’ve been straight my whole life and this was meant to be a bit of an adventure, but the happy phase is rather short-lived and from the looks of it I’ll be back completely by the end of the week…SIGH. Whatever, I love my men straight hair.

What a waste of money though, must retry when I get back to London.

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Vest Gmarket | Dress as top Topshop | Skirt H&M | Shoes Nine West | Bag Etsy

Sorry about that second photo. I’m obviously slightly hungover from that flight back home – DEVIL CHILDREN… Turns out I’ve brought back 3kg more phat as a souvenir from the Turkey trip, how very memorable.

Well, I’ll check back later, I bled sleep on that damned flight and I’m a bit anemic.

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Dress, bag H&M | Harness All Saints | Shoes Zara

Looks like we won’t be going anywhere outside the hotel grounds during this Turkish holiday, seeing as everything we need is pretty much in here. Frankly, I would prefer to steer clear of hosting a tourist circus-on-wheels show in the nearest town looking for something noteworthily Turkish, be it a marketplace or a cave. My family has a PhD on tourist circus, the lose eachother in the market and see you at the airport on Sunday act is by far the most amusing and crowd-winning. OK only kidding, but my point is it’s best for our own sake if we buzz around within some sort of system with walls and security – jail, rehab, or hotel – wellll, hotel it is. I guess we won’t be witnessing any authentic Turkish culture, but oh well, I guess save it for another journey.

Hello, how d’you do from Mistr Turtle I found at the golf course near the lake by the 8th tee.