Shirt-dress – Courtesy of Flik Hall, Pants – Zara DIY cut-off jeans, Shoes – Courtesy of Heavy Machine, Bag – ASOS, Jacket – Barbour

I think I may have discovered a new fruit, ladies and gentleman. Events from the past few days have helped uncover the existence of a magical species, in the same family as the banana, the ba-radioactive-neon-green-peel-lining-nana. I have discovered that, despite my entire life in a Western setting with aspirations not unlike an American teenager’s (running a Babysitter’s club, going to prom, getting punched by a mean girl), there is powerful Asian tiger-mum blood coursing through my veins, melting vital organs. If I had it my way, the London Riots would be dealt with kimchi-smeared fingers and a putter club from daddy’s golf-shrine. Yes, some say the riots were the cries of the neglected underclass, the abandoned youth deprived of role models, but before questioning the government on bad parenting, punishment should be ruthless. I personally don’t believe in beating as part of child raising, but a stick has always been a part of my childhood, and I can’t deny that there was always a lesson to be learnt behind every strike. So I don’t steal, well, except from looters, I’ll strip the hoodies off your back and DIY the crap out of it. Hide yo kids, hide yo wives.

There’s no doubt those involved in such shameful, disgusting acts have deserved the ‘Scum’ title, and it’s clear that the rule-abiding citizens have proved our worth by not retaliating but instead cleaning after the idiots, but please let’s do our best to train them not to soil the carpet in the first place. Use a water gun, or a rolled-up newspaper, give them good role models, invest in their future…

Thank you Alice (of Alicepoint) for helping with the shots

Kew Gardens

By the time the boy and I got to Kew Gardens last Sunday morning we were so hungry that every other question we found ourselves asking our guide was Is this one edible? Then we noticed ducks and we ran for it. I always knew carrying around a pack of HP sauce was good for something, yum. No, we almost did ‘the lawnmower’ but miraculously the tour ended right next to the Orangery so we cooked the duck there. What a magical place, like hopping from one continent to another! It’s truly amazing to see how plants adapt to the climate and geography, and even more fascinating to see how the engineers there maintain thousands of species in England’s capricious weather. I guess that was extra fascinating for me because I’ve never managed to keep a plant alive for more than a week, even a damn cactus, which you basically ignore. (Too much love I suppose <3) Anyway, in Kew you can’t help but marvel at how creative God is… well I can’t, dunno about you. So sorry for putting this together into a fat kid, there’s a little more to come and I just didn’t want the blog to end up looking too shrubby if that’s even a word.

Note: Topless girl in paisley is not me. You wish.

Thank you Frida of 247 Social for arranging the visit!

Shirt, Shorts, Bag – Uniqlo, Shoes – Topshop, Watch – Casio, Bracelet (right arm) – both COS, Bracelets (left arm) – mix of DIY, Kellu Melu, H&M

World, meet my new bicycle, CW, or China Woman. The first day I rode it out some idiot in a run-down car drove up to me and yelled TAKE IT EASY CHINA WOMAN. Who, me? Since I’m not Chinese I assumed he knew something I didn’t know so I started calling my bike that. So World, my China Woman and I go fast & slow on the bus lane and sometimes through very narrow alleys. Man… had to go to Thesaurus.com to find child-friendly words for that dirty line, are you happy, parents? Too bad though, because I’m going to woo-hoo with my new favourite shoes tonight. (IT’S OK BECAUSE I’M MARRIED TO IT.)

Thank you Alice (of Alicepoint) for helping with the photos and the lovely brunch!
This is also the first instalment of Uniqlooks for August.

United Nude London flagship store in Covent Garden

In 2002 I used to play the Sims so much that whenever in real life I’d walk into a room and forget why I went there in the first place, I’d think HEY SOMEONE DELETED MY ACTION… then I’d go kick the gnome in the yard before having a shower that leaked water everywhere. I disgress, wait I forgot what I wanted to say. HEY SOMEONE DELETED MY BRAIN. Ah yes. The other day I dropped by the new United Nude flagship store in Covent Garden – I had to gasp at the sight of the darkest shop interior I’ve seen, lit only in the boxes of the Wall of Light. Every few minutes a streak of colour would run through the wall and you couldn’t help but think that they could throw one heck of a party in here. The Lo-Res project is what tickled my fancy most though, as you can tell by the Sims reference – not that it’s comparable, really. The concept is that surface information, or ‘resolution’ is deducted from a 3D model, to build abstract low-poly models of an ordinary object. Brilliant really, I’d like to see others be more experimentative with everyday objects like the United Nude team. The pink Low-Res mary janes is probably why my Sim keeps disappearing in the night dressed as a criminal.

Sleeveless Trench – YesStyle, Floral Shirt – Motel Rocks, Dress – 18 AND EAST, Watch – ASOS

GHD Courtesy of ASOS; Photos shot in Hurwundeki

The pimple-ridden teenager that slams the door and plays on a ducktaped guitar the entire summer, would be my atopic (eczema) skin; and the neat kid that does his homework and keeps his allowance in a tin can for a bicycle, would be my hair. So now you understand the reason there are only two hairstyles in this blog, and hopefully also the reason I don’t own a blow dryer or a hairspray. But I do have a drawer-full of steroid creams, collected from literally every country I’ve been itchy in. Do any of you own medicine from Lithuania or Turkey, BECAUSE I DO. I’ve been more than content letting my hair run free, and since straightening is really the extent of pimping it I thought I’d share my choice of straightener and method. So far I’ve been happiest with the classic GHD Flat iron… and hey I just realised it’s probably a great tool for whacking the pimple boy at times but that’d be inappropriate so scratch that. I shall rule with a proverbial iron fist in velvet glove. Or with GHD in satin sleeve… dilemma.

All that’s needed is a good brushing throughout, then a even spritz of heat-protection spray (mine’s from Trevor Sorbie) before any contact with the iron. Using a brush, sweep a chunk of hair to the side and clip, then start straightening in sections from the underneath to avoid placing finished hair on top of unfinished hair. Works best if you lead the section of hair with a brush and follow with the straightener.

Thank you Flora for helping with the photos, and Hurwundeki for the location!